This article explains why it is important to develop the feminine aspect of ourselves in order to live a balanced life and why we have to start right now!
According to Nina Simons, the President and Co-Founder of Bioneers, there is a serious imbalance of the masculine and feminine, as demonstrated by the ongoing destruction of our planet. As an old saying goes ‘the bird of humanity has been trying to fly with only one wing’.
Especially in this pivoting time the feminine is needed to bring healing, justice and peace in the world through transforming our systems in order for all to thrive. Regardless of gender, race, orientation or class.
Reclaiming the ‘feeling’ parts of ourselves
Re-orienting our inner guidance system
So how to become whole again? How to incorporate the masculine and the feminine within oneself? As Charles Eisenstein says: “the way forward isn’t to erase gender differences, but to restore them to health and reclaim them in service to life,” and to do that in a way that honors the blurry zones (the queer, the trans, the gender-fluid that invariably arise along with this (or any) binary distinction.”
In my own experience I found it necessary to practice my capacity to be comfortable with vulnerability, the unknown and uncertainty and react in a pro-active way to my surroundings through listening to the different signals that manifest in my life. Quite similar to a dance with another where alertness and enjoyment of the moment is of the essence. If we can see the entirety of our lives in the same way, we wouldn’t blame other people as quickly as we do since we will be taking responsibility for our own movement through life.
It is quite a journey to relocate the focus from our head to our heart as a the primary guidance system. A journey of letting go and becoming familiar with the unknown.
Changing our internal wiring with meditation
The systemic targeting of women
Attending a panel at the UN Commission on the Status of Woman focused on Woman, Health and Extractive Industries made me painfully aware of how corporations deliberately aim for woman in their pursuit of the riches of our Earth.
It doesn’t matter what is subtracted; coal, metal, fracking, drilling for oil, most pillaging is preceded by large groups of men clearing the space through raping and abusing the woman of indigenous communities. After that most men escape into alcoholism, disease, drug abuse, poverty and joblessness. This does not only have a impact on families, it annihilates entire villages with their particular lifestyle, same for languages and landscapes.
Many woman spoke and I was struck by their courage, and outrage. I realised how systemic, deep-rooted and cruel the global war on woman is.
The power of the feminine is rising again
Finding the strength to overcome trauma
When one starts listening more to the heart’s guidance, painful or uncomfortable places are surely as often visited as the more rejoicing, optimistic or grateful parts. And although it is tempting to ignore those shadowy realms, I find a great deal of strength and solace when I wholeheartedly listen to someone else’s truth, completely.
I’ve met several woman in my life who have been raped or abused and I am always stunned by their tenacity, resoluteness and strength. Full of motivation and eager for life. Same goes for woman from Serbia when they dance their ancient Kolo dance, a circled restorative ritual that has been practiced since mesolithic times. Dancing and singing together in such a playful and lighthearted way, restoring the war trauma of thousands.
Indigenous women are often the ones on the frontline
De-colonizing the mind
It is needed in this highly fast paced world that we slow down in order to rearrange our internal wiring, because it is easy to let us be carried constantly by this wild river until we are exhausted and depleted and it takes more and more effort to sit down next to the river before taking off again if we raft until we hit rock bottom over and over again.
And it is not only destructive to ourselves, but to our surroundings as well. Remember how many times you have had to say ‘sorry’ because you were moving too fast and had too much on your plate. Or teared another rip in your jeans because you walked too mindless through the shed looking for the glue to mend your beloved mug which you knocked off the table whilst trying to prep your children for school…
Slow down, listen to your intuition, nature, your dreams, your ancestors before you take any action. Or as Lao Tze put it: ‘Do you have the patience to wait until the mud settles?’
Trauma is widespread among Native American women
Finding guidance within stillness
Seeing many people around me having problems with their heart: heart failures, high blood pressure etc. I take this as an inspiration even more to be silent, silent whenever I can be: in between events, just in the breath you take before opening the door or when you go to the loo. It’s in the small things.
And it is about you, taking care of yourself first is a necessity and we have to feel beyond the apparent constraints of society which can make you feel like your being self-absorbed if you take time and care for yourself. It’s impossible to service others if you don’t take care of yourself first. Your giving needs to be, and can be, sustainable. Do things that feel nourishing: take a long bath, walk in nature, meditate, spend time with animals.
Co-creating from the heart
There is something I learned from the feminine: listening is very active, very involved. It is something beyond just the use of ears. The whole being is part of the process, especially heart and guts. And that same listening is used for the listening to the signals and answers when we ask for guidance, of what to do next in life.
There is always a response, even though not always immediate, so we have to listen mindfully and patiently. Surrendering to the flow of life that ultimately we create ourselves and see what emerges from that. But again, surrendering is not something passive, it is about genuine involvement emerging from a deep curiosity for everything that is and happens in your life. There must be a deep wanting to connect.
Imagine, instead of people being the instruments of Earth’s destruction, if we re-enter a sacred partnership with all of Life on behalf of her healing. May we remember how to bring the wholeness of our humanity — our deep listening, our patient observation, our loving, powerful and tender hearts and our humble hands — and our prayers — to co-creating the conditions for thriving life.